Everything cool about modern life is built on all kinds of horrors. But what are you gonna do? Not use them?

Like millions of millennials, whenever I hear something or see someone do something really silly or ridiculous, I mug at a nonexistent camera, like Jim Halpert.

As I was telling some friends earlier—Tommy Wiseau is Rey’s dad.

This connection is inspired.

Huh. So, that’s not how dry throats work.

You gotta admit, that would’ve made a much better ending to How I Met Your Mother than what we ended up with.

All Kate Winslett has to say is, “I get that he’s a scumbag, but he’s an artist who is capable of good work, and I’d like to be a part of that, because it might be really good for my career.” To me, that’d be far less offensive. Still shitty, but it doesn’t deny anyone’s trauma. It just says she doesn’t care about it.

You know, I’ve done and said many embarrassing/shameful things, but I’ve never sent a picture of my genitals to anyone. Whenever anyone asks me for a dick pic, I send them a picture of Richard Nixon, usually of him bowling.

Wait, you too???

When I was 15, I was thinking of ideas for stories. The adage I kept running into was “write what you know.” But then I thought, “What if I wrote about something I didn’t know anything about, but in the silliest way possible? What if I wrote about a CPA, which sounds boring, but then I made their life sound exciting…

Hell A.

Is it a coincidence that my two favorite writers for the site—Josh Modell and A.A. Dowd—come through with listing A Crow Looked at Me among the year’s best , THE WAY GOD INTENDED? No. Not it is not.

Yeah. It’s a heart-wrencher, but I do find the end to be oddly hopeful. Still, I don’t begrudge anyone for being put off by how very raw the record is.

Gahh!!! *Heidi, not Wendy

It’s a shame that so many people are overlooking Mount Eerie’s A Crow Looked at Me, even though it’s gonna be a stone-cold classic.

Yeah. The Stranger Things/It spoofing didn’t quite work—save for Randy riding off on a bike, only to be thrown moments later—but all-in-all, it’s as solid of a finale as South Park could’ve hoped for.

“You’re turning late night into grand juries, and taking my ideas for my daytime talk show, you pigs!!!”

It’s a TV show, but if you want to call it a movie, who actually cares? It honestly, truly does not matter. If you want a legitimate defense, the closest I can think of are Charles Dickens novels being published as serials, only to be compiled later. We still call them novels, the same way we would with anything by…

This was a crazy amount of fun. I dig it.

Not all the way, I didn’t.