Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

Well it was really just 409 of the.

What? This comment has nothing to do with anything.

that’s a good scam. too bad i’m too honest to try that. and too afraid of getting caught and arrested.

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

Elton John answered this question 40 fucking years ago.

I doubt it, football players at Auburn aren’t known to have a strong defense.

Same here. I quit watching 3 years ago because fuck em.

It’s hard to tell since he’s wearing much more clothing than usual, but yes, it is.

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

I’ve had sex in less time than Ledecky’s margin of victory. And just like the Olympics, it happens once every 4 years.

Say what you will but they have a perfectly respectable 6 - 3 record in imaginary match ups with Alabama.

Ah, come on. He’s not that bad. Cut the guy some slacks.

Diehard Buccos fan here (who owns a Kang jersey). I really don’t know what to say, man. I’m shocked, devastated, and furious. Outside of Cutch, Kang is probably the most beloved player on our team. He came over from Korea as an enigma and won over the hearts of the fan base with his play and attitude. The latter being…

I don’t know, obviously.

Jeez, who ISN’T on first!

You can tell he’s a true Bills fan because he’s so comfortable working from behind.

Best Borgnine