Don’t worry, the liar-in-chief has a backup plan in case Dr. Ronny Jackson doesn’t work out:

Dork Dad Level: 10/10

I live in Caramel deLite country (Samoas slightly less pretty twin). Still the best cookie in the lineup by a mile. Thin Mints are like that candy you ate as a kid that you thought was so good — then, years later, you find it at the vintage candy store, try it, and realize it’s sooooo shitty.

We are such a sad society...our obsession with celebrity leads to these candidates who have a head start on name/face recognition. Cynthia Nixon may be perfectly fine as a politician, but how long before we have a ticket of Jake Paul and PewDiePie? 

(Dennison, David)

...about 75 shirts and Spurs-decorated jewelry, purses and shoes...

I mix Heinz ketchup and French’s yellow mustard for my fry dipping pleasure and it is delicious. Starting my own brand now and I shall call it “Ketchturd.” People will wait in lines for a chance at “Ketchturd.” 

Sure, Kris is concerned about her children’s emotions. Excuse me for a moment...

I’m sure they’ll have the kid crawling down the runway in a Tom Ford onesie during the next NY Fashion Week. 

Always appropriate when picturing David Dennison in a sexual scenario:

Agree. His shows and personality are shallower than a wading pool.

She is the “human” version of Grumpy cat.

Yeah, pretty. But it will probably spray rainbow-colored shit all over my windshield when I’m in the store for literally five damn minutes!

Bitter, party of one. Your table is ready.

Ugh, so is Bill O’Reilly and EL James. What a country.

Stop giving idiots platforms, E (I refuse to use the exclamation point)