Kudos to him. He is a better man than me. If I was scheduled to make $13M playing the way LaRoche does...I would have sold the kid if the team asked me.

You had me until ‘Hardly Boy’.

Dad jokes don’t belong in Deadspin comments.

Well done today. You’ve done Yeoman’s work.

Unlike you, I watched the game. Also attended the two games prior to this and sat directly across from him on the other side of the court. They are his seats. He is not forced to sit down during an inbound pass, the same way that no one in the entire arena is forced to sit down on an inbound pass.

Here are some…

YEAH...but he’s still in his damn seat. Stop talking about this. You’re wrong.

Nothing better than seeing two warriors battling it out in the stands at a sporting event that neither of them has the coordination or skill-set to play.

These Democratic debates are getting out of hand.

Kevin Garnett High vs. Kevin Garnett Institute

She’d win every single NBA fight since 1990.

Name recognition doesn’t necessarily result in successful music. Ask Iggy Azalea.

The guy in front of them looks like Borat and Fred Armisen had some very odd spawn.

If Max Pacioretty had any clue what he was doing in the defensive zone there would not have been a wide-open Iginla. That was a 3-on-3 until Max started spinning in a circle in the slot.

The fact that you wrote this like a caveman in two different ways really impresses me. The fact that you assume I didn’t play the sport is also very very cute.

Pro tip: Guys who played the game at a decent level never lead a Deadspin comment section with “I played the game for 5-10 years”...that invalidates you from…

There is nothing better than listening to a sideline reporter say “We’re talking about celebrity stuff, not politics.” when someone has a legitimate point about health care. Congrats Sage Steele, you define ‘Republicans in America’ in my eyes.

He is a positive possession player going up against the top six on the opposition. I would say that he’s doing alright....but if you have any stats to back up the ‘disastrous’ claim, I am open to listening.

It works for James Harden.

The part where you let us know you didn’t miss a shift. In a non-professional hockey game. Against non-professional players.

The most shocking thing about this is that the Browns train at all.