Sorry for introducing you to fine art.

A creepy thing Ashley did on my phone last week was to steal it at a bar while I was sending an email, and text my easily confused boyfriend the following picture (in response to a text about his 9 year-old nephew):

Proud of u

Dolores is a treasure.

As a straight male secure in his manliness. I like to randomly set my status as engaged and get facebook engaged my fellow straight men. Just the ones who are completely homophobic. The comments I get from them, and their families are great.

Bob's got my back.

Inactive accounts are also a lot of fun. My one friends posts on his friends profile every year on the same date even though she hasn't logged on since 2006. Her wall is nothing but;

It's been several years and I still laugh every time I think of this old "Drunken Hookup Failure" from Magary's old weekly feature on Deadspin (http://deadspin.com/5792418/the-gr…):

For added effect, be sure to "Like" anything creepy you just did.

This article could be renamed "Things my mother-in-law does on Facebook"

You joke as if that's not a daily fear of mine.

If I were Bob, I'd be terrified to turn around for fear Ashley was right behind me.

Damn, that is so fantastic. Guy is a genius.

This one. This one is the greatest.

Well there goes the only compliment I've gotten in months :(

Yeah... umm... sorry about that...

I am also friends with Stango's grandma on Facebook.

Not bad, but it's worth referencing that Gizmodo already covered the uber-ultimate Facebook creepy-troll tactic, courtesy of legendary Ryan Roy:

You're the right kind of crazy, kiddo.