Hah! Never! This is the new normal, Jezebel is your family now.

Fun Fact! Pee doesn’t come out of vaginas!

I was once convinced I had herpes, but it turns out I just had a really bad case of jock itch on my vulva! Jock itch: not just for dudes!

Kate’s hotter, Rooney’s better looking.

Hurr hurr hurr.

Maybe the problem is that you keep putting hats on their cats, and the cats don’t like it?

No! If you brush after coffee it fucks up your enamel!

Thank you!

As a youth, I was discouraged from ever playing any sports ever because I am small and seemingly breakable. As an adult, I decided that was garbage and picked up the only sport I could find that didn’t require it’s adult participants to have any experience playing or any understanding of the rules: roller derby. I…

Nah, all of my friends invite my partner and I (childless) to their children’s birthday parties. It’s great, juiceboxes and rice krispy treats!

Holy shit, I had never heard of soaking and had to Google it. Way to bury the lede, Barry!

I wish short-shorts for men would make a comeback. Moar butts! Less 90s bagginess!

Pretty sure those freckles are drawn on.

Seconded.

AAAAAAHHHHHH

http://jezebel.com/5976718/notre-…

Whenever I read ‘IT girls’, I imagine girls working in IT departments. I am confused every time.

Seriously, this is going to be the least productive day I’ve ever had. I have so much to get done today, how could this happen to me?

Ah! My mistake!

Have you never seen Crazy Stupid Love?! I watch it at least twice a year. A+ comedy, A+ Ryan Gosling.