Porky-Pigging.

Bank fees. I put everything on credit cards, get points, and pay off the bill as soon as it comes in so I am never charged interest. It builds a credit history and saves me money. I’m in Canada, though, so perhaps it is different here?

That’s what a person in their 20s looks like without bleached hair, fake tits, and 80 layers of makeup on. I realize this is a pretty big change for Playboy, but if she looks like a child, so do I (at almost 30!).

Thank you. It was not my roller derby name when I was playing, a fact I regret every day.

Split squats. Pistol squats. Sideways squats. Upsidedown squats. Partnered squats. Indian goatherd squats. Hungarian princess squats.

I do not remember ever not knowing how sex works. I don’t remember ever being ‘told’ about sex and how it works, I just always knew. My family was also super open about these things, so I never had any traumatizing realizations in that regard.

Some kids don’t ask questions, though, and they still need answers.

Nah, her foot is normal sized.

Unsolicited advice: Squats. One million squats. Never stop doing squats. Squat heavy weights.

My partner and I don’t buy each other gifts. That’s been working for us.

Ugh, no. So ugly.

That is what I would worry about.

Okay, this is very silly and very 80s, but it doesn’t seem like bad advice. Do whatever the fuck you want (within your means) and ignore the haters. Sure, she apparently was into frolicing through fields and wearing eyelet lace on beaches, but the advice still stands if you want to dress all in leather and replace…

... Seems legit.

No joke, though, I always have a spare bottle of Prosecco in my apartment. Some Wednesdays are sparkling wine Wednesdays, you know? I pair mine with tacos and Netflix though, 2016!

I assume she means pointe shoes. I am not sure why you would put potpourri in them, but looking back from 2016 it’s hard to remember why anybody did anything with potpourri.

Nope! That is an amazing name!

Does it work? I’m asking for a friend.

I don’t really understand the snark about the divorce. I mean, I get that ‘conscious uncoupling’ is a stupid thing to call it, but I think that their attitude toward the breakup is really great.

WHY DOES THIS LOOK SO GOOD?! AM I BLINDED BY MY LOVE OF EVERYONE INVOLVED?!