No bullshit—my husband is on the autism spectrum and flying freaks him the fuck out. Usually I just drug him, but sometimes that’s not enough. Next time, Bon Jovi is happening. You’re my hero.

Did your friend explain the kissing? I’d very much like to know how a disruptive, probably drunk, screaming lady went from hysteria to passion.

Planes should come with a padded cell.

I assume that the blacked-out SUV following them is their contingent of armed bodyguards, ready to take down any citizen who dares to confront their asshattery?

I would buy that

Roommate A heard me talking about unloading my storage unit and said, “Why don’t you ask Roommate B if you can borrow her pickup?”

“They each choose a crayfish from one of the tanks in the dining area. The customers are happy to be sampling genuine Australian cuisine, and they’re delightful, so I’m happy for them.”

That’s why I’m glad the last restaurant I worked at only had steak knives. There was not a single regular knife in the building.

She lost her license because she refused the breath test and her awesome parents took her car away.Her parents are the heroes here.

I liked life better when this was the “go-to” for Palins

“And now it’s time for Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...”

The western half is beautiful- not the eastern half

It’s an interesting state with all sorts of socio-cultural mixes. For example, in the northern part of the state, you get a certain Vermont syndrome, with old hippies from Chicago and St. Louis who have gone back to nature and opened organic food stores in these poor mountain towns filled with tarpaper shacks. The…

Biggest takeaway: The Duggars are rich enough to own a private plane.

Also laughted my ass off... Mostly cause I dated a cop in Toronto with a women’s studies degree that wanted to help the poor!!! Sooooo funny!!!

I wonder did the guy look like this?

At the very tail end of the ending credits for “MST3K: The Movie”, Tom Servo says “If for any reason you are unsatisfied with this movie, please return unused portion for a full refund.” :-D

I can’t tell you how many jerks use their work phones/emails to conduct affairs. It’s hilarious/sad/still-hilarious/depressing-because-these-clowns-make-way-more-money-than-me-despite-having-no-common-sense-and-what-are-my-life-choices-even/and then hilarious once more.

That, along with the fact that there were thousands of people dumbasses who apparently paid for their accounts with personal credit cards, are the most incredible parts of this to me.

I’m gonna go nuclear on this one: Uniforms for all students.