I....hmmmmm...., well.... That's a visual.

Precisely.

Pleasantville is so gosh darn pleasant though.

Off to watch Pleasantville...

Ugh. I was once married to that guy.

Groceries and a new down alternative pillow were my present to myself with that gift card. Adult life is so glamorous.

I got Pyrex snapware and a cookbook for Christmas, along with a $50 target gift card. Oh, better not forget the voicemail from my MIL who AGAIN thanked me for “giving” her a grand baby (when she already has three by her own daughter)

I used to be amazed how many of my clients would refer to their vulva as their vajayjay during their waxing appointments, among many other nicknames. The ONLY person who used the correct terminology was a pediatric ER nurse.

sand, the ocean, seagulls, marine life...sound like a beach to me.

Not as hot as he was circa Beetlejuice. *drool*

Waiting

I saw about 50 shades of rage when I found out.

It's true. Last year one of my best girlfriends started her battle with cervical cancer. Her soon to be former husband would tell her repeatedly that it was probably just her time to go. 😡

YES!!!!! Oh, mama Umbridge...

Legally Blonde? George of the Jungle? Truman Show? She was fabulous in those, to name a few. She also had an app stance on Two and a Half Men.

We all know umbridge is the real villain. I can't look at Imelda anymore without seeing Umbridge.

There is a neverending supply of “stuff up the butt” stories from my nurse friends. It's both hysterical and horrifying. Hysterifying.

Ah yes. A rubber. I hear those will work WONDERS on keeping my polycystic ovaries in check.

Exactly. Never. Again. I've been married for a couple years now, and I don't want to think about sex period right now. Littlest Crockpotter was born 7 weeks ago, and did a number on me. Poor MrCrockpotter....