Your mum is a mastermind, A+

My goober wants to buy postcards everywhere we go, literally everywhere including town every weekend when we buy groceries. We compromised by having him pick out cards to mail to his great-grandmother, and in return he gets sent postcards whenever his relatives travel. Everyone feels loved, and I don’t have 500 copies…

I love the little goon, but he went through a phase where his idea of group activity was for you to sit quietly next to him, make no amusing vrooms or animal noises, and touch nothing. And he knew the second your attention wandered. After 20 minutes of “playing” with my toddler I wanted to eat my own hands.…

This question haunted me as a child and a teen. In all seriousness could never think of a single think I wanted to do, let thought I could actually do. I would usually say “teacher” because so many of my relatives were in education, but even as a kid I knew I wouldn’t actually be good at it. Then I’d feel a…

Mine told a joke the other day that my own dad told us throughout my childhood. “I got you a present.. it’s in the shop”

When my nephew was 4 going on 5, he started telling “jokes” - but only the punchlines because that was the funny part, duh. He would run up, burst out “Orange you glad I didn’say banana!” or “To get to the other side!” and then roll on the floor in peals of laughter.

And thank your bus driver! You’re a right prick here in the UK if you don’t, and you want the driver on your side if you’re going to be anywhere more than a few days. One local driver hates tourist season, and will actively park 10-20 feet away from a standing crowd of backpackers or suitcases, just to make them drag…

In university, one of my professors had a big chart in her office of actually useful phrases in many languages. I’ve always remember it included:
“Call the police” - “I am allergic to ___” - “I think I have been poisoned” - “That man/woman is not my husband/wife” and my favorite, “I do not need a prostitute right now”

According to a reasonable source, these children were just expressing themselves with a reasonable Austrailan greeting

Space Mutinty and Hobgoblins, niether of which help anybody.

No, but now I instantly want to

“But how does that help the Basque separatists?” from MST3k is the one in our house.

no recent use of profanity has delighted me as much as Cadet Sylvia Tilly’s earnest proclamation of “this is so fucking cool!” on Star Trek: Discovery. It’s the first instance of the F-bomb in Star Trek history

I have to stand up for Haribo goldbears, not because I personally enjoy them but we cause they’re one of the only candies my son’s god-cousin can eat because of her severe food allergies. Holidays and parties in our family would be a lot less sweet without them.

That was a hell of a thing...

I’m almost crying. I feel so let down, I’m never going to be able to use a regular parent-child rest room again. He doesn’t need to be held now but even just a chance to immobilize the little goon so I can pee without him accidently turning on the auto hand dryer and running away in panic. Why isn’t this a part of my…

My elderly tom cat used to be the area stud before losing a fight, badly. We rescued and rehabed him, and offically retired his equipment. When he dies, we’re going to bury him like a king, amid the ruins of an iron-age hill fort in my village. It’s what he would want.

That little boy at the top of the article is making the exact face my brother made in his offical graduation photo. My parents were less than impressed at the time, but they’ve come to embrace his choice after 10 years of unavoidably seeing it in the living room every day.

That recommendation was worthit just for the uncanny Troy McClure impression...

Assuring that Robust, Thorough and Informed Congressional Leadership is Exercised Over National Emergencies or Article One Act