Oh God I want “Good job, Banana” to be our new Kitchenette meme.

The ratio may have been a little Nutella-heavy, but BCO was crucial, nonetheless.

Don’t lie, it was mostly Nutella. As it should be, honestly.

I don’t post it because I think repeat readers won’t get it if I don’t; I post it because new readers might not look at previous BCO’s. I just want to cover all bases.

I’m sorry to hear about your loss—I had actually been wondering why I hadn’t seen you commenting as much lately. I’m glad BCO helped, at least in some small way. I hope you guys have whatever you need to make what you’re going through less awful.

Note: I do not want poop/vomit stories. Please stop sending me poop/vomit stories. Also, if your stories are not food-related in some way, I am unable to do anything with them. Sorry.

Goddamit, I wanted to dismiss this person but these responses are too funny.

Mr. Trump, what an honor!

I think Kahless would look just darling in a jug of sangria.

That probably says something about the dearth of well-known First Nations actors more than anything, but Graham Greene would be perfect as Don.

you better shut up and serve

You seem like the kind of person who’s unknowingly ingested gallons of bodily effluvia & floor sweepings over the years.

You clearly have no idea how shifts work at cheapass restaurants. Here is how my job works:

The guy is okay, but the woman is awful from the second she sits down. Nothing is good enough for her, she’s not ready to order when she says she’s ready, she won’t make eye contact—the sort of completely entitled person who thinks servers are lower than dog shit. It takes her a lifetime to make up her mind on…

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THAT.

Hi Colin, I just wanted to thank you for BCO. My father-in-law passed away last Monday morning, and I spent all week making phone calls, driving people around, making arrangements, serving people, and sleeping on my living room floor. It was the week from hell. A few times each day, though, I was able to sneak away…

I once had a b-list celebrity start whining to me at one point because I wouldn't give him the moon and he pulled the “don’t you know who I am” card. It was so satisfying to look him dead in the eyes and reply, “No, I don’t, and I don’t care.” His face was priceless.

From the 1st pizza story: The typical don’t you know who I am etc etc.