I hope Carlos Ruiz’ jersey says CHOOOOOOOOOCH with the name arcing all the way around his back and into the tucked-in part.

Aroldis Chapman has already called “I Beat Her”

I’m not that sympathetic to Na, but that bushy green haircut of his is amazing.

Just wait till Brady Watt and Mu Hu also want to file a complaint.

I don’t know if there is anything I am less sympathetic to then a multi-millionaire professional golfer complaining that a course is too hard.

400?!

Kevin - “This course sucks!”

‘AH FACK ME, THIS GUY HEEYA HAS NO IDEA WAH HE’S TALHKIN ABOUT, GET ME SOME PEPERIDGE FAHMS I’M DONE.’

Neighbors.

The drivers were probably ownership. We all have keys.

This is the least annoying House episode ever.

In surprising reversal, Chad Johnson is taking the House to it.

At some point, the conversation turned sour.

The Phillies radio guys were talking about the crowd, or lack thereof. Scott Franzke said there were “dozens” of people in attendance. Larry Andersen countered “but not many dozens.”

I can’t even tell the teams apart because of those stupid fucking uniforms.

Dude, do you normally suck this much at life? This was an impressive account of piss poor planning and a lack of self awareness. Thanks for the laugh. Hope next time goes better and you actually get to race in the car :)

It’s $130 to volunteer at the women’s event in town, but $168.33 to volunteer at the men’s event.

Reading this makes me hungry for some potato chips. I think I’ll have some Pringles.

Wait, that’s definitely the Lay’s logo, right? What the hell is Walker’s?

As a teenager? You properly cooked a real turkey? Impressive.