Well, when we were kids we’d find the smallest and weakest trick or treater, then steal his or her candy.

Oh those “NFL family” spots are the worst. In reality the average NFL “family” consists of a beer-drenched dad staggering home just in time to collapse on the couch in drunken snores right before the night game starts, as his much-less-attractive-than-on-TV wife bitches at him because she spent the entire day watching…