I don’t even know how to respond, young one.

Ummmm I had this baby beat. At an even younger age. It’s been said I resembled a monchichi.

Yeah, I didn’t want to say it because I don’t like to be mean. But he’s... not a very good writer.

You’re a professional writer and you think the phrase is, “on the lamb?”

Goodnight. Time for bed.

Their history of doing this is not what I would have expected.

I feel so weird when the NFL does something right for a change.

That’s why I prefer Arizona over Georgia. It’s the dry hate.

Is it better to use a huge bowl and a very small spoon or a small bowl and spoon that is so large it can barely fit into the bowl?

Wholeheartedly agree. Also, I strongly prefer steel cut oats. I think they taste much better than the rolled oats, and I find them more filling.

Step one: DON’T PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE, YOU DRIVELING HEATHEN.

This is on Jezebel because there’s no reason it shouldn’t be.

I’ll rest easy when I see Simmons come out of his home and issue a statement himself.

I have ID channel on in the background and I’m pretty sure there were at least 3 versions of this story while I’ve been sitting here.

I feel like somehow the Republicans will turn this into another reason to try to keep women from obtaining contraception — OH, YOU WANT THE ISIS PILLS, HUH??

reduce us to their level

This will be a tough challenge, citizen. On one robotic hand, people watched her streams because of the sex appeal she has, the main selling point of watching her streams, much like people enjoyed watching me get blown to pieces by small arms fire.

It’s like Alien vs. Predator but Legionnaire’s vs. Gonnorhea.