The Whole Story Comes out:

God, this is going to be so embarrassing for Dolan when he finds out that Trayvon Martin is not the name of the cars that James Bond drives.

It's crazy that Hurns wasn't drafted... he's kind of the classic player who slipped through the cracks because his measurables aren't there which I guess makes it easy for teams to overlook his production. But in 2013 he was better than both Sammy Watkins and Kelvin Benjamin (against those same defenses and with a…

And if not, how about writing one for Deadspin instead?

No one from the league has ever knocked down my report to me

Here's a free one: Please Samer, Don't Hurt Em. It really only works if your name's Samer.

See what I mean? Commenting going to shit. No mention at all of how far can I punt a football. F minus.

That's not the full email—the rest is boring stuff about family news—but I did not make it up. My dad has very hot sports takes.

I am going to ban you if you do this again.

This kind of State action creates a huge First Amendment problem.

If I wanted shit on my chest, I'd go to Cleveland.

"After he cudgels the spheroid into the pitch, he might traverse several base platings and get into the red zone, awaiting a teammate to offer him safe entry to the final embassy."

He was defending first for the Tampa Bay Rays

You know why there's so many Cowboys fans from D.C. and P.G. County? Because our brilliant first owner, with a team in a city so black George Clinton referred to it as "Chocolate City," decided that instead of marketing to that built-in fanbase in his backyard, he would market instead to mouth-breathing southern…

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

http://gawker.com/is-this-4chan-…

http://gizmodo.com/the-icloud-fla…

Followed by 5 shitty reviews of the same movie by people without a film degree.

The haircut says "I dig chicks" while the mustache says "did you not fucking hear the haircut?"