it’s not a toupee. he like

In space, nobody can hear you moo.

“I am vastly uninformed on this matter.”

This is where you should’ve started and finished your piece.

YES

.......................................

Please don’t speak for us.

That’s MY golf course! MINE MINE MINE!

Gloating isn’t nice

via Google news, I landed on an opinion piece on USA today (I clicked the wrong link, I was crying so happily) that was like, “no, don’t worry, straight-marriage will win out, it’s not going away.” like now straight marriage is banned or something.

Dear People who are angry at this,

goddammit TayTay can’t even be controversial for like one full fucking day

I’m so not used to seeing folks who accept criticism and change their behavior. Is this even the internet?

Is this...spam satire? Or just the weirdest spam ever ever?

Would hang out with Regis for chance to eat cheese fries in a yurt, tbqh.

oh bless your heart.

This article is the literal equivalent of “I’ll show HIM!” and “If you piss me off, I’m leaving a bad Yelp review.”

White girl outrage is always petty. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The logic he employed is common in the tattoo world. I have had tattoo artists strongly persuade me to get one tattoo over another, placed here instead of there. I listened. Had I not, I would have kept shopping. You threw a fit and as far as I can tell, it has nothing to do with you being a woman. You’re attempt to…