Nah, man. Be cool.

The guys falling over the boards in concert is like a wonky animation you’d see in NHL 16. It’s amazing.

Updates should be marked in Eastern Daylight Time (EDT). Standard Time ended a month-and-a-half ago.

GARDENHOSER!

LOL You have gone round the bend, my friend.

I am a soon-to-be irritable dad, and my wife has a law degree! Do I still get to join the club?

Tom, Sorry you had to go through that, man. That’s a bunch of BS.

Stave off elimination? It was Game 6 with the Islanders leading the series 3-2.

No, sorry. That is not right. I assume you haven’t watched a lot of the NHL lately, because that’s not how it operates.

You can tell you’re not a dog owner, because people don’t simply walk their dogs so their dogs can shit. Dogs need exercise, and I think the email was talking about a dog walking along and simply having his paws on the dude’s grass. In which case, it makes the guy who yelled a total dick.

Considering I’ve watched it now 20 times in slow motion and can’t really tell either way, I’m okay with the non-call. But I certainly think they have to blow the play dead if you have a d-man down on the ice with the puck in the neutral zone.

This.

And the Lightning’s 6-5 win over the Islanders...

Dude, Boyle elbowed Hickey directly in the head, and it left Hickey down, woozy and out of the play, directly leading to the goal. Was it as bad as the Orpik hit? No. Was it illegal and should it have been a penalty? Yes. Instead, it decided the game.

And in both head-to-head fantasy leagues I’m in, I’m facing this dude this week. Grrrr.

Honestly, I hate when the leagues do this. The NBA and the NHL release these kinds of statements all the time during the playoffs, and it doesn’t do fans any good. I get that they’re trying to be transparent about poor calls, and — as a result —put the story to bed. But if I were a Spurs fan, it wouldn’t make me feel…

Big Bart makes one too excited to concern one’s self with grammar.

And people wonder how the Dodgers ended up spending $300 million for a team with Justin Turner as its three hitter...

Someone drive this woman three hours south to the WWE Performance Center to teach a promo class, because this is legitimately better than 75 percent of the main roster’s mic skills right now.

Best job: Anything stable that can offer some semblance of a work-life balance.