My thought was how the fuck is this dog running on ice, when my childhood golden retriever couldn’t even handle the tile floor in the kitchen.

Shit like this is why 49% don’t live in cities. It’s not because we’re too unrefined to understand bulgogi burritos are the tits.

Thank you so very much for putting into words what I was grasping to say.

is like me saying nuclear power plants will run better if designed by scientists and engineers.

I was hoping that ‘I voted for Hillary’ was going to be the new ‘I have a black friend’.

Why would anyone, anyone shorten Broncos to Broncs? What trailer park-that-tornadoes-forgot did you grow up in where that is a thing? I spit on you.

TV News:: ..And today in sports, a black man somewhere ran with a ball and jumped with a ball and threw a ball and people got really excited as if they hadn’t seen it a million times before... ...Next, we’ll pretend like we can predict the weather...

Like I said, I do not do this in front of other people.

You can’t make a proper sandwich out of chili or spaghetti sauce, everything will just fall out the sides. You gotta take that slice of buttered bread and hold it slightly folded. Then you pile all of the goodness inside. When eating, hold the sauce-hoagie slightly above mouth level and tilt down. This way any excess…

Yeah, I thought everybody knew that story. For a GnR mark like Drew to mess it up was odd.

A funny thing happened last week. I was watching Engineering an Empire on youtube while stoned. I don’t know why, but I scrolled to the comments section and found it consisted almost entirely of high school students who were watching for homework. Fascinated, I checked out some other old History Channel shows on…

It depends on what time you got up. If I had some eggs before the sun rose, I’ll probably be hitting both lunch and dinner earlier than is traditional.

What do you need it for? It’s a pretty easy recipe to make your own: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/08/fauxreos-homemade-oreos-recipe.html

I don’t do it in front of other people, but anything with a tomato based sauce is great with buttered bread. If I’m home alone, I’ll heat up only a half bowl of chili, but eat it across three slices of buttered bread.

Holy shit that is my mother to a ‘T’. She was always a judgemental person, but now she has absolutely no patience for people she doesn’t know. One mistake in front of her and you are branded for all eternity.

It is a sacred cow problem.

I think it’s cool that he’s so famous back home, his name has been given it’s own kanji to separate him from anyone else named Suzuki Ichiro.

Ah Simmons, such a waste. He was not a bad writer, back when he put the effort in. Hell go re-read this dumb article: https://theringer.com/2017-nba-playoffs-chris-paul-los-angeles-clippers-last-days-of-point-god-15136ed190b2. The first third of that was actually pretty good! Before he went all Simmonsy and started…

Just going to leave this terrible, terrible joke here...

*of course everything offends somebody.