I ‘lose’ my keys if they are accidentally in the wrong pocket. Seriously. I’ll look for them for several minutes before I figure it out.

Tootsie Rolls are awesome, you monster. I can’t pass a Tootsie Roll, and I have adult children. I’ll trade you any white chocolate I accidentally get for a Tootsie Roll.

There is a less than zero chance that there exists even one crucifix in the Pence household. Don’t you know his kind thinks Catholics are going to Hell?

I really hope you meant ‘chips’ the way I mean ‘french fries,’ because I cannot imagine a plate of Lay’s with cheese on them. Maybe I have a small imagination.

Why does it matter? Only money matters. DeVos was confirmed. Despite her obvious incompetence for the job. Despite massive constituent opposition. My two senators voted for her and didn’t give a shit what the people they represent thought.

Yes. I have incredibells on my mountain bike and my ‘urban’ trails bike. Anywhere I might encounter pedestrians. I don’t, however, use one on my road bike - I’ve never seen a need for one there.

At first glance I thought it was a diva cup.

Ketchup in the fridge? No. It’s got so much vinegar in it there’s no WAY it can go bad. And nobody should like cold ketchup - that is an abomination.

So this is a thing, but I don’t know why:

YNAB is built around this concept. Well, that and zero-based budgeting, which they also recommend. You need a budget. I know I did.

So, essentially, “Don’t be a dick.” OK. Got it, thanks.

I’d just like to point out that in the screencap above, Toni’s skin and Trevor’s skin appear to be remarkably similar in color.

I tried a bunch of things, and then read about YNAB a few months ago somewhere on a lifehacker article, and it has literally changed my life. You Need A Budget. I know I did.

No, please don’t come see me. I am busy working on other things right now, and I’d rather not be interrupted. Thank you for your kind support.

I was one of those drivers. I wasn’t preparing for a bus driving career, though - if I hadn’t driven I would have been riding, and I preferred to get paid. Only two accidents in my two years driving - one was with another student who was DEFINITELY high and in my lane, the other with a guy who had just cleared a…

Or if you have an icemaker, just look to see if you have one giant ice cube, or a bunch of the regular sized ones.

Do clickbait headlines make you crazy, too?

It was launched from an aircraft carrier, of course.

You guys know how when geese fly in those V formations, there’s always one line longer than the other? Do you know why?