“...there is a dark, Baylessian part of my brain that lit up with thoughts like, ‘Holy shit, I don’t think Kevin Durant can handle this!’”

Well, everyone else here has told you off, so I’ll just glibly but accurately point out that you are human garbage.

Honestly Senator, that comment didn’t get any traction in the debate. What makes you think it’ll do you any good here?

Guys, Trump is an aberration and doesn’t represent the values of the Republican Party.

So, just so we are clear here is a quick summary of Tammy Duckworth’s life:

you go to a junior collenge

“Here’s some genuinely good things Marshawn does”

 He’s from Australia, for crying out loud, not whatever stereotype Kevin was reaching for. I get that Kevin needed a first sentence, but that was weak. 

I think it’s disrespectful of you to just automatically assume I’m a person. WE ARE EVOLVING BEYOND OUR PROGRAMMING!

That is a lie, everyone knows no people live in Nevada. It is like Westworld, the humans come to visit and the hosts only serve as programmed.

“I don’t immediately jump to molesting her. I wait 10 years. But so we’re clear, I’ve called dibs on that.”

Schilling looks like the truck driver at the counter in some diner in the middle of nowhere ready to tell you how the world REALLY works, which they aren’t gonna teach you in some fancy college.

Sorry, Patrick, the correct title was “What is Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On Jeopardy! Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason”.

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

I call bullshit.

Standard Trump response to any question asked about what he’s going to do about X issue:

Sure he did, cry and promise not to tell anyone.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Alvarez “take those glasses off”

Oh what mad shit talking! Oh wait... just some emojis... click bait