That’s not what The Bear is about.

no it’s fine he’s totally crisp between 10am and 4pm, when all things in the entire world happen.

Why does it feel like I’ll be voting for this guy:

Thank you. It’s intensely frustrating to watch people spout the party line bullshit and try and convince (me? themselves?) that he’s anything but an old man who isn’t anywhere near sharp enough to do the job.

I’ve had people tell me: yeah, but it’s really the team that does all the work, the president doesn’t need to…

When I first heard the phrase ‘digital rectal exam’ my first thought was ‘like they use a computer for that?’

Biden was holed up in Camp David for a week (supposedly) prepping immediately prior to the debate. The “jetlagged” excuse is patently absurd. A stutter doesn’t induce you to say things like “we finally beat Medicare” or, when the other guy is talking, just kind of stare off into space with your mouth half open like…

We’ll have to agree to strongly disagree that Temple of Doom is a better movie than Last Crusade. ToD had some good action sequences but the rest was cringingly bad. When I saw it in the theater in its first run, I was so hype after the clever opening sequence and was gutted by how bad it was after that.

Never trust a guy who calls himself a feminist

What? You don’t cuddle with your new nanny in the bath after hiring them?

What?  You don’t cuddle with your new nanny in the bath after hiring them?  

Nah, Gizmodo got sold off weeks ago. They just moved to a new commenting system.

“Digital penetration” is a dope ass phrase.

Any excuse to revisit Bronson Pinchot’s Random Roles interview is a good one.

“What a dick.”

It’s called “satire” and it is intended to point out the ridiculously lenient and laissez-faire attitude that the California legal system has toward crime. Goes to lack of enforcement, not threshold for a misdemeanor.

Ask store owners in California how they feel about the new shoplifting law.

You know what the REAL question should be here? If you happen to have your phone out in the right place at the right time when witnessing this, why the FUCK would you stop following the rocket with your phone right before it's about to impact the ground?! Why is it that whenever anyone has the golden opportunity to…

Let’s give a big round of applause to the city planners in China who built residential apartment complexes and an experimental rocket testing pad about two miles from one another.

only Gizmodo readers are still in denial of the crisis that is Joe Biden. Perhaps because they rather address the fringe looney conspiracies, despite that our government history is made up of genuine conspiracies 

“Biden may be old and past his prime, but Trump is clearly suffering from some extremely serious cognitive health issues .... even though he can’t string more than two sentences together without losing his train of thought and drifting off into unintelligible word salad.”