Or a bunch of upstate redneck yokels that hate women as much as he does.  

wait, what the fuck does “fair dinkum, i was a drongo” mean because i feel like i need that phrase in my everyday lexicon

I would like a chopping cart

Fair. Not Luke, though.

This needs significantly more attention

Look, if a Hemsworth man is literally running into a burning building to save my animals.... shit, if a Hemsworth man ran back inside because I forgot my sunglasses, I’d be contractually obligated to marry him. Also, SHE’S 26. She might sound like a 60 year old that guzzles glass, but she’s not.  

Or a made up story about an affair with the MarchInPlace of Chumbawumbly.

Why is it shellacked in fucking... shellac?!  IT’S NOT A BOAT

HOLY SHIT. VIENETTA. DO YOU EVEN KNOW GIANNI VERSACE?!

The rich are .... not known for good taste.  

Holy shit. It.s $1.5 Million dollars, and still looks like the 90's choked on the early aughts inside. Oh wait, this one’s $2.09 million... I guess hideous swirls are extra?    https://www.newellcoach.com/default.asp?page=xInventoryDetail&id=7211551&p=1&s=Year&d=D&fr=xAllInventory

They are! Enormous slobbery ladies convinced they’re tiny and fit on laps. And you can “baby-talk” me all you want, our trolls are so adorable. Mine presumes I live in an apartment, for some reason? For the record, to confirm, for the folks in the back: people that abuse animals deserve retribution in kind. Your…

I want to do to this bitch what she did to Sphinx. A few times.  Then I’d like to formally invite Sphinx to come live with me and my 75lb doberman, 100lb german shepherd, who incidentally have NEVER FUCKING BEEN HIT OR SPAT UPON AND NEVER WILL BE UPON PAIN OF DEATH. I hope she’s forced into some kind of therapy to…

SERIOUSLY WHY IS HE TOUCHING HER STOMACH AT ALL MUCH LESS LIKE THAT MAKE IT STTTTOOOOOOPPPPP

Straight white male executives in charge of everything:

once out from under the mantle of marriage, they’re now finally able to be completely real with you!

There was a house like this near my hometown - painted rainbow with a Mr. Yuck face because they wouldn’t let her rent it or something.  I loved it, and I love this.  Isn’t it almost better that she doesn’t live there, doesn’t have to see it every day, yet Susie Doe Eyes is accosted by an onslaught of neon emojiness…

Thanks again! I presumed the benches were for snogging, but now that I’m considering the logistics of helicopter sex... is that even... possible? That’s rhetorical. Mostly.

Does HE have property in those countries?  I’d google but I’m probably already on whatever lists they keep of people who google weird shit.