fheshun mawdell... knows Gianni Versace

6/27/19

wait are there dogs you don’t like

6/26/19

Agreed: I come from the “white lady with thick black hair in all the places” camp and I agree, cute pit hair is cute. Braidable pit hair, such as mine decides it needs to be, is ... not? Also, I feel... squishy, when I don’t shave. That said, do what feels right, and don’t be pissed at a razor ad dipping it’s toe in…

6/26/19

It’s so difficult to tell what’s even real anymore. I was obsessed with avoiding names for my children that had any iteration of “dur” in them, because growing up in the 80's, that’s the only game we had. I did not consider that our fucking last name straight up has a “dur” sound in it, so that plan was born a…

6/26/19

Yep. Don’t say fucked up shit to 5 year olds, folks. They’ll remember.

6/26/19

I still can’t tell if Gene Attel Fisher (Genital Fissure? Seriously?), Amy Schumer’s kid’s name, is real or an excellent long game troll.

6/26/19

I once had a babysitter who gave her own kid a second helping of cereal, and when I asked for more, told me no. When I asked her why, she pissily told me “because she’s my daughter”. I was 5. Now I have major food aggression. I am in no way prepared to psychologically unpack that damage as it’s pretty low on the…

6/25/19

Case in point: Chet Haze

6/25/19

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/226-Saint-James-Pl-APT-3L-Brooklyn-NY-11238/64794668_zpid/

6/22/19

Mostly here to say I like the part where you appreciate Hot Mugger Guy

6/22/19

So you sent your mom an invoice with compounding interest, right...?

6/21/19

Just slice right through that salty ocean ok

6/20/19

aw, look how sad she is in the smol sparkley:

6/19/19

Also, not for nothin’, I’m all about equality and shit but I’d wear a tiara to the bathroom if it were available. I’m a sucker for a crown.

6/19/19

Right? Like, bring a sleep mask and fucking sound machine or sleep buds, M‘don.

6/19/19

Yep. Like that Statue of Liberty one Camilla always wears, you just can’t see it behind all the feathered hair and Aquanet.

6/19/19

I’M STRAIGHT SO NOTHING SHOULD BOTHER ME EVARRRR TRA LA LA NO COMPLAINTS HERE JUST STRAIGHT AND HAPPY WHEEEE

6/17/19

And ALL the freckles. :)

6/17/19

*that’s not how any of this works gif* :) One of my kids was born with a full head of thick, dark hair, got a full helmet of cradle cap and lost it all, then it grew back blonde as buffy. That lil nugget does has his mama’s nose, though!

6/14/19

Soime.

6/14/19

And Chanel. I know, “eat the rich” and all that, but still. People should know.