At least a million times better, but I’m biased because I wrote it.

If I hit 4 home runs in a major league game, it could be in Borat’s fluorescent full-body thong and I’m still feeling pretty sweet whenever they show a flashback.

Here’s the version of the article for you: Apple released a speaker thing. It costs $349. Buy it or whatever, I don’t care.

OR they could write the articles, and you could just not read them, or comment on them.

Add that to the fact that a 16-year old girl from the suburbs hacked an Uber driver to death with a machete stolen from Wal-Mart while wearing a Cubs shirt and yeah, is say it’s been a rough week for the Cubs.

I feel like he maybe should have just slid into the base and stayed there.

But it’s not. Old Style at Wrigley is barely cheaper than the other beers.

Bad comparison. People from Cincinnati don’t pretend to like the chili to earn street cred, we full-out like it. We have been enjoying it since long before Deadspin or anyone outside of Cincinnati ever took notice. There is literally no reason to drink Old Style except to show off how big a Cubs fan you claim to be.

I like how a fan shows up to the arena with a ticket to the game and happens to run into James Dolan, and he likens that to stalking. It’s like he knows that there’s no other good reason to go to a Knicks game.

No.

I like the daughter’s defense though. “You see, what I think he meant was this thing that’s completely different from what he said...”

I like spicy, so Buffalo Blue, Spicy Thai and of course Jalapeño are always welcome in my house. However, Salt & Pepper is the best Kettle chip, and I feel like I’ve had Hawaiian Onion or something of that nature before, but don’t think I have seen them in the last 5 years... also delicious.

I think you can develop a tolerance. I grew up in Cincinnati so of course I’ve loved the stuff all my life and people hating in it is a completely foreign concept to me. It doesn’t put me to sleep, give me stomach pains or impact my taking of the Cleveland football team to the Super Bowl in the least. My body has…

You mean re2pect

When did accusing someone of alcohol issue become the go-to move for shitbag sports team owners?

Anything with a button-fly cannot be best.

Anything with a button-fly cannot be best.

Thanks for the history lesson; I did know that and still hit Publish even though it diminishes my point one fraction of an iota

Virginia has a fantastic defense. To me it is actually quite fun to watch them do their thing, unlike a Big Ten game where both teams struggle to score 50, then they look around, shrug and say “uh, I guess we’re just really good at defense... yeah!”

The headline could’ve just said “the Steelers played football yesterday” and we could have inferred the rest.

You sound like you wear a XXXL Polamalu jersey to job interviews