I can’t wait for Charlie Ebersol’s son to create the ESPN 30 for 30 about how successful the AAF was and what a visionary his father was for creating it.

Foster care?! That’s Australian for beer care!

This is everything I expected from a city that spreads ketchup on a giant round saltine cracker and calls it “St. Louis style pizza!”

Lonzo is a sophisticated man. He’ll do the 3-d “S.”

So, are we going to play a round of “which St. Louis Cardinals scout said this” or what?

I assumed that’s also why they were crying, but it just entered my mind that they were probably also upset that they didn’t win.

I am a damn liar, but for one time only I will tell the truth: I will not watch that video.

If you are somewhere people might reasonably be expected to be in a hurry, like in a train station where train doors close at a certain time and leave passengers who were a fraction of a second late standing in their dust, and you stand on the left side of the escalator, you do so at your own peril.

What, you mean the accomplishments of not earning the #1 pick in the draft, followed by trading for a great player, aren’t enough to shake that reputation?

This question is invalid unless followed with the word “, bro?”

Probably not the first time someone has regretted signing a contract to play for the Browns, but might be the first time it was for this reason!

Don’t blame Alex guys, he’s reading off of Stephen A. Smith’s notes.

Have mercy...

Oh it’s good for the other students for sure, because they still managed to get in.

“I’m hearing some crazy stuff out of Cleveland right now!”

Nah... I mean, I would love to grab a beer and hang out with the real life Dennis Reynolds. Even though he’s an asshole, I bet it would be a blast.

I have run exactly one half marathon before. It was awful, and at no point during the race did you ever not know what mile you are on. It’s all you think about. I’m sure she’s not a Rhodes scholar or anything, but even being able to operate Instagram requires more brain power than a person who would fuck this up due…

Ignore this man! Foie gras (at least the good stuff) comes from geese that are literally force-fed through a tube stuck down their throats. We control the intake, therefore we control the toxic waste dump and can make it as rich and velvety with layers of flavor as we want. Eat on!

I read the article, and if you connect the simplest of dots, you will find the formula: calling someone by not-their-name + them obviously visibly not liking you calling them that = stop doing that.

If you can have your meal ruined by a bartender not happily letting another man call her “baby,” you are the most sensitive of sensitive penises.