Another factor against the U.S.: since most of the stadiums required are already constructed, what are all the world’s slaves going to do with their time?

If you have 100 different stupid theories, and test them all at the 95% confidence level, 5 of those stupid theories are going to be “proven” true.

I’m a weirdo who actually prefers listening to live stuff. Here are a few honorable mentions:

[picture of final scoreboard]

When they are 30 games back in August, I will look at the standings and think I know that the Miami Marlins are a trash baseball team, but I won’t really know what’s going on over there because I’m not there, listening to their discussions.

I haven’t done it in a while, but what harm does the “Chiptole order a bowl with a tortilla side” do to anyone?

Can’t it be both? :)

This is quite possibly the most unintentionally hilarious insult that was meant to be serious in the history of written language.

Wendy’s and BW3's are notably not in the headline for this article... maybe Deadspin is looking to get one of those sweet sponsorship deals?

Every time I feel dumb, I think about the fact that some people actually think Ronaldo is better than Messi and my confidence immediately rebounds.

Ronaldo is routinely heralded as an all-time great but it seems his fans aren’t satisfied unless he’s declared the best player in the world and, well, he’s not.

I don’t look like Marvin Lewis, but I probably make the same clueless facial expressions as him when he punts in the opponent’s territory.

Also the Steelers.

My favorite restaurant in Chicago, which does not take reservations, is taking reservations on Valentine’s Day, and I got one... I’m fucking going!

I still don’t know who this guy is or why he is Internet famous.

But if you have kids...

I’m sure Michigan message boards will be a great place for reasonable, well-minded individuals to discuss the complex interactions that caused these two defections and how the grounds can be set for more successful campaigns in the future.

Malcolm, even if you were Miss Cleo, you would still not be able to see the future.

If the performance isn’t, don’t despair because his new album is.

Store-bought hummus is at least a more acceptable substitute for the real thing than store-bought guac is...