Listeria is actually a condition - the one in which you expel mouthwash violently and painfully out your nose when someone tells a potty joke as you’re gargling, and you start giggling.

Are you in Japan?

Avoid the Diarrhea Dipstick - carry Gas-X with you whenever you wear pants.

+1 Ad truther

“It’s the (Texas) Christian way.”

+1 From the mouths of babes....

You are a very thoughtful, patient, and kind person.

Here’s a near-useless summary that’s criminally general and simplistic, but it might help sort things out a little.

+1 Seriously, if this isn’t Art.....

Anything caught on video besides his Tourette’s outbursts and that stupid I-crapped-my-drawers grin?

Yes, and, now that I’ve been rudely awakened before 2016 is behind us, I can see a glimmer of a silver lining in at least one special interest behind at least one candidate....

Haha, let him do it!

+1 Community service

Yes, indeed it does.

Yawn....yep, I wouldn’t give it up for all the Brawndo in the world.

Knock, knock.....

Uh.... then I woke up too soon

It is such a downer to feel the softening market position of Hello Kitty’s entry.

Please, pretty please, with sugar on top?

Well, sure, if you want to make it a happy ending meal!