I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. I mean, Dancing on the Ceiling still holds up, but George Michael sounds like what it is: disposable pop that has not held up, just like Adele will be. It doesn’t even really hold up now.

LOL

She sounds chill to you?

Even if your personal interests are limited to the discography of Loggins & Messina and Japanese tentacle porn, I guarantee you there are at least a few people who share those interests that you would find attractive.

I would like to share some advice I got when I was about 10 or so:

Yup, even if it works out great AND it’s legal, why would you want to be known as the dude in his mid/late 20s banging a girl under the age of 18?

Bingo. I’m a dude and blowjobs do NOTHING for me. They’re like rollercoasters. I get that they’re super fun for a lot of people, good on y’all, have fun, I’ll take a ride on one if we’re together and it’s REALLY your thing, but truth be told, I’d rather do something else.

Such an easy joke, but always hilarious.

But you’re ignoring the fact that the man’s campaign was a total troll job and he outright stated that he would resign if his wink-and-nod dog and pony show got him elected.

The reason why casual sex is so bad for straight women is because you’re having casual sex with the wrong dudes.

Except he’ll trade half the team, scare the shit out of Nashville by signing Tebow as Mariota’s backup for a few weeks and swear that you can totally play football by only putting 4 men on the field. It’s a system, man. Gotta trust the system.

Cheesesteaks Paninis

If I was a QB who got benched for Gabbert, I think it would destroy me. Like, mentally, it would end me. I would ask to be released from my contract and take up a life of working in a fish cannery.

When questioned about the move, Tomsula replied “we haven’t lost faith in Colin. We’re just moving some things around. We still have one of the most talented rosters on the league with Colin, Blaine, uh, there’s the guy who does the running. He’s pretty good. That guy who blocks... Bob? Bill? Something like that.”

This photo should be the Deadspin logo.

I would not voluntarily use my vehicle, at my own cost, to ferry sketchy, drunken randos around town for anything less than the cost of the car itself.

You aren’t getting up an hour earlier, though. That’s all in your head.

Well, if you’re smart, you shift the clocks ahead one hour in the afternoon and boom, all of a sudden, it’s time for dinner and alcohol. And look at you, thinking you still had 60 minutes of mindlessly checking Twitter, watching the clock, etc. ahead of you!

It’s the changing that fucks me up. I don’t care if we stick with DST or regular time, but let’s just fucking pick one and call it done.

Just because your life sucks, don’t take it out on us.