I’m not the only one who wants to see a low speed chase with Lori Laughlin, where John Stamos is playing the AC Cowlings role, right? I can’t be the only one.

It’s kind of amazing that a year after the unthinkable happened, we have suddenly realized that the Eagles winning the Super Bowl is like when W. was President. It was still awful, but this current reality makes the Fuck Tomb and the Horseshit Eaters look like afternoon delight with Rihanna.

When you never hear anyone around you say the word “no” and mean it, you get Dan Snyder. 

What a slam dunk piece. You really got out on the break and took this take right to the hole. Not one double dribble in any of your sentences. Your defense was solid and there was never a time that I felt boxed out from your points.

As long as there is one person alive who thinks not only about the future but also thinks about how to make that future better, I will keep the faith.

The Rubberbandits - Horse Outside

The Raiders should just go on tour next year, like they’re the damn Grateful Dead. Every Sunday a new city, let them ride in tour busses, just barnstorm the damn countryside. Gruden and Mark Davis should be the bus drivers and Dwayne Harris can be the guy to yell “Thank you [city name]! There will be no encores!”.

Dead & Company - Black Muddy River

Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, and Trent Reznor - Mantra (from Sound City)

Led Zeppelin - Ramble On (London, O2 Arena)

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - A Little Honey

Devo - Girl U Want

PiLtd - Seattle

I hope they do something balls-out insane like playing at the Tampa Bay Rays decrepit and awful dome, just so Gru-dawgs Hooters buddies can have the old coach back for a season. They’ll probably end up either in San Antone or stay in Oakland, but man, I’d love to see the owners room if they pitched that idea.

I have a lot of questions. When was the last time he actually held a coin? Has he ever used his thumb for anything other than gripping (cheeseburgers, his mushroom-headed wang, the television remote)? Did he actually know where he was? Could he have identified which was the Army contingent, the Navy contingent, from…

Bon Iver - Wash.

We Were Promised Jetpacks - The More I Sleep, The Less I Dream

Royal Blood - Hole

So Gus should have just stuck to sports, then? Not that I give a crap because everyone involved stinks on ice, I just wanted to make sure where the line in the sand is for STICKING TO SPORTS.

Stoked for Richard Sherman to yell about this for the next few years. Apparently not giving the ball to Money at the goal line is his HILL TO DIE ON FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.