HAHAHA OH GOD PLEASE LET’S HAVE A WORLD LEADERS ROAST OF TRUMP AFTER HE GETS IMPEACHED. Macron, Merkel, Turnbull, Trudeau, hell let’s invite everyone. It’ll be like the Olympics, only only one night and there’s only one event: roasting the shit out of a disgraceful asshole.

All I learned was that I definitely am not gay, and that there is no proof other than the word of a racist, miogynist shut-in (H. P. Lovecraft, in case I was too subtle) that Cthulhu and the Old ones are evil at all.

It’s definitely evil Pee Wee Herman.

Look, I am really sorry to all the good and decent people who will be offended by this, but we really need to get the word “retarded” back because Donald Trump is retarded. Can we just pretend that it was never really used to describe developmentally disabled people who never deserved any of the shit treatment our…

Oh, exactly...Obama’s wars. How could I forget when 9/11 happened on his watch so he went to war in Afghanistan in 2001; and then when he declared a Global War on Terror and went into Iraq in 2003 (which totally did 9/11 and had nukes) way back when he was actually President George W. Bush. And then when he got an…

I agree that Evgenia’s use of the real audio was a terrible idea. This does raise a question for me though: Is there something about skating that makes it inherently unsuitable for addressing serious real-world topics, more so than other types of art and performance? There are plays, movies, novels, ballets, and…

OMG, changing her mind out of expedience? What is this, some kind of country where our leaders change things based on pressure from outside groups and take up causes they otherwise might not based on the wills of their constituents? That’s not how our government is supposed to work!

It’s going to be interesting to watch the group whose preferred candidate has smeared, among other groups — women, Mexicans, Muslims, American P.O.W.s, blacks, the Chinese, and the parents of war heroes — try to pretend like this statement is TOO FAR.

“Batman is coming to my birthday party! He is too!... Ok, now you can’t come and see Batman when he comes to my birthday party!”

I have noticed that white conservative pundits like to lash out at Beyoncé for increasingly frivolous reasons. Mike Huckabee takes potshots at her almost constantly — perhaps the most famous example is when he said that her husband Jay-Z was pimping her out.

I’ve started just going “I TOTALLY agree” and then stating the opposite opinion. It’s hilarious. People are like “I don’t think you understood me...” and then you can be like “Oh my goodness, you’re so right” and restate your opposite opinion. People have no idea what to do.