I’d give them two more times and maybe one more kid before they finally separate for good. 

I think im understanding it correctly but anyone else correct me. The newspaper called him a wife beater in a headline. Depp said this was false and sued for libel. The court ruled that while normally this would be libel, all the evidence in the case showed that Depp did beat his wife, so the newspaper was being…

I mean, this is the Right Answer. I guess we tend to hew to a good-guy/bad-guy binary, but it’s very weird seeing people take the fact that Heard injured Depp to mean a complete turn of the tables, that he’s entirely innocent.

Probably didn’t help that Depp was doing a bad English accent throughout the proceedings.

Absolutely.  Nothing he said implied it was big.  It wasn’t a brag about that. It was a statement that he was lead by his dick.  

The U.S. case is substantially weaker than the British one, for a number of reasons, and if he had good advisors around him/was actually listening to them, he wouldn’t go through with it. At this point, it would be virtually impossible to win.

I don’t want to hear anymore old man dick metaphors or old men talking about their penises.

LOL, I hope Disney sends someone to that trial just to say, “Yeah...after the last one we decided that paying some dipshit has-been $100 million to drunkenly ham it up in a movie that barely breaks even isn’t in our shareholders’ best interest.”

“I feel like he was never going to win this case”

The UK is notoriously favourable to the injured party in libel cases (so Depp in this case) and NGN admitted the articles did do damage to his reputation so that would’ve likely tipped it by default closer to him. And if his claims were true it realistically should’ve…

Well I lost my grant funding due to his administrations sabotage of the ACA, so had to change jobs and can no longer help people obtain health insurance in rural areas with limited options. 

I feel like he was never going to win this case, even if amber did all the instigating it’s almost unproveable with how violent things got that he never laid a hand on her. So the descriptor of “wife beater” would’ve been accurate enough almost no matter what.

I’m so stressed I’m actually using my Hitachi Magic Wand on my shoulders

Won’t be long until new and long-dormant accounts come out to claim how Heard lied, judge is bought etc etc as his fans on twitter have been doing since 10am (when earlier they’d been celebrating what would be an easy win for him).

Pretty sure that statement meant more that he would think with his dick and less about it’s size ie it was controlling his actions and he would do whatever to have as much sex as possible. As a (gay) man I have never heard of a guy refer to his dick as being large by stating he was the “caboose” to it.

How about we not worry about the fucking Roe v Wade assholes and allow Chrissy to name him and call him her baby.

You would think abolishing spitting on birthday cakes during a pandemic would be given. However, I t’s always made me ill just watching it. What a fucked up custom.

Weezy looks like a little kid forced to wear his dad’s hand-me-downs.

We’re going to find out in couple years how much taxpayer money they were paid for these appearances, and this shit is going to make a lot more sense. Guarantee he was paid at least half a million in consulting and advertising fees. Him and ice cube are the only ones willing to sell out for under 7 figures, since…

Actually the relief I experienced when confirming it was a joke was one of the only pleasant things I felt yesterday so...thanks?

Sorry, from now on I only want nothing but qualified career civil servants in office. The problem with celebrity politicians is they never want to start at the bottom and work their way up. They want big jobs first and think city council, or state house is beneath them.