A friend of mine (years ago) investigated complaints against General Officers for the Inspector General's office at an Army headquarters. He used to say that, by far, the majority of the complaints stemmed from an inability to keep it in their pants.

My takeaway is that next time I'm having my period I will say "I am in the wardrobe of my Royal Daintiness." So much more quaint than saying it's Shark Week.

He was a bit of a dickish moralist to his male junior officers too. Maybe not UMCJ triggering offenses, but still. For example, you didn't mention if you were living with a woman you were not married to. I mean you could be, but that took your reputation down a notch or two.

Just when I was getting used to the fact that no one cared about my stupid boner.

she can be our new queen.

UMC

I'd all but forgotten about that feud.

You keep posting this multiple times per article, in multiple articles. You are SUPER invested in telling women that they are wrong about their own goddamn bodies.

You don't own anything but the unique willingness to crassly exploit it."

my cat is looking at me so strangely due to the sudden burst of laughter!

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

*High Five*

That is a phrase that gets a high five automatically, you better have high-fived him.

My favourite line:

That...that uhm...you know that's a damn good way to handle the tiny pecker reveal.

They invented the game, yo. Well bless your heart.

"From the woman who loved you first."

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's unconscionable.

Very, very good point.

I have anxiety from being assaulted and then the way I was treated afterwards.