She thought the underground railroad was a REAL TRAIN. A. REAL. TRAIN.

I went roller skating today. That's my "exercise" that I know I enjoy and will stick with. My doctor told me to "join a gym" at my last physical where we discussed my need to shed some weight. I laughed at her.

Ok, now I'm impressed. I can barely write a grocery list on my phone.

I am 100% against the death penalty in any and all cases. That said, the idea that beheading is "barbaric" is just western racism.

This has weighed heavy on her heart for months? FOR MONTHS?

I was homeschooled. I followed a normal curriculum that had no religious influence at all. I was supervised by a credentialed teacher who I could email or call if necessary. I graduated two years early from high school. Nothing wrong with homeschooling if it's done right.

Also, if you are big, and you got lucky with your dress, consider selling it on. My dress should have been £1300, but I bought the shop sample for £500. I could have kept it but I'd never have worn it again. I sold it on ebay for £180, and had the pleasure of giving someone else the joy of wearing properly engineered…

If your dress cost you £150 brand new and the seller tells you it's made of silk, beading, hand stitched embroidery and/or Chantilly lace, they are lying. It is that simple. Either spend the money on the real deal if that is what you want, have a dress made by a local dress maker, or buy from a reputable online…

Oh. Now I get it.

Hopefully those two crazy gals never get a hold of some reefer! That stuff will really cook your goose!

I kept reading polish week as Polish week, in which case I imagine the prep is less manicure and more:

I was a Female, navy petty officer , on a submarine tender way back in 1990. One day while I was talking to an older sailor, he told me the reason women can't be on subs is becuase their flows produce too much trash.

So I suspect that Skinny Girl Marijuana will make you too paranoid to eat heavy meals.

The last time I saw someone this excited about something with 50-50 odds was when I chose the fish option at my cousin's wedding and it ended up being lobster pie. I cried real garlic butter tears.

Most excessive showering is due to shame, not ethnicity.

Harpies is kind of harsh bro.

I'm just going to come up in here and brag about my student loan payment of $250 a month. And I went to law school. American law school!

I was thinking the same thing. But it's cute Kenya thinks Lupita would be anything but unbothered by her tweet. The #girlbye goes to you, Kenya boo.