I say they should just pivot the Trump brand completely to a kind of Duck Dynasty theme with gold trim and swarovski crystals. This is their new demographic.

I cannot believe that nobody at a Midtown Manhattan-based organization said, “You know, this name is a bit too similar to American Idiot. Maybe we should try again.”

But it will have an overactive ICE machine.

Will they offer free continental breakfast with artisan covfefe?

If these were two gay people being persecuted for their orientation, this column would be full of outrage.

Allow me to be the dissenting voice here. I ACTIVELY pursued the woman I will always believe is the love of my life for years. I was in Grade 10, she was a teacher of 45. There was NOTHING about this woman that indicated she was afraid of growing older. She had her own money, career, activities and friends, and she…

Bullshit, it was those individual ones who affected me most, two of them far more than either of my parents. Again your sweeping statement is patently false.

Author is pretty clearly a woman...

I’m the mother of two boys. If they’re in high school and a teacher propositions them and I find out I’m going straight to the police. It’s not just about the age difference. There’s also a real power imbalance.

Just a few thoughts from somebody who hasn’t thought much about this: what seems common to these women and other teachers who have been apprehended having sex with students is that they are all pretty-ish and all young-looking for their age. I wonder if they aren’t also all afraid of growing older, too. And perhaps…

a fucking men

Tony?

*cue

I think it’s the “machine” part. My cousin, Sex Machine, is also a scumbag.

He already attempted suicide once. This time, they need to provide him with sturdier bedsheets.

Fuck him, I’d call him Mr. Koppenhaver the whole time. Or maybe I’d call him Metta World Peace.

Looks like you’re the first.

If I were the judge it’d be excruciating to have to say “Mr. Machine” so many times without visibly rolling my eyes.

36 years in prison is some alpha male shit brooooooooo!!!!

It must be something with the name. I have an acquaintance named War Machine and he is always in trouble as well. Weird.