God...I always fucking hated [MLB player]. Can’t trust that son of a bitch.

Does he know he’s an ad?

How the hell would Lochte even know he was held up. That boy’s about as sharp as a sack of wet mice

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

Please tell me it jams your fingers down into the compartment and mangles your hand. I want to see the lawsuit that the would-be thief will levee against the owner and RR. Gotta love ‘Merica.

Lesson learned, if you are going to steal one, get a firm grip first.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun here, but I would have assumed all Dellavedova content would have been housed at The Cuck, Gawker’s New Men’s Site.

*Cincinnati

You should feel bad for this post. everything.

This fan needs to remember what happened the last time a gorilla in Cincinnati didn’t respect its enclosure.

Oh my god. Can you imagine how exhausting being a dentist/hygienist is going to be for the next few weeks?

[annoying dickhead] “So I heard that you don’t have to floss anymore, and it’s all just a ploy to get you to buy floss”

[Dentist] Well, actually, the issue is; people aren’t using the right techniques, getting rid…

Pulling off a 360° dunk on the Chinese National team is like getting a hole in one on a putt-putt course. It’s not that big of a deal.

gravity are fake make america again

[Cow]boys will be [Cow]boys.

For fun (I’m weird): given 55.5 ft from release point to plate, the time you have to read the pitch and get the bat to the ball:

How do you still have a job? Jesus.

I don’t see the big deal. Everyone should want to save America’s pastime. I believe this lady, who holds baseball in a special place in her heart. Why convolute this issue with facts, numbers, faces, or reality? Support our troops.

I wish more dudes would groom simply because of how gross it is to leave your little curly inch-long pubic hairs on the urinals at work.

I don’t understand how this is a gender thing. Myself and all my male friends shave there too.

Is it ok to genuinely like anything anymore? Dude is a handful-of-times-in-a-generation talent who had one of the best offensive seasons in NBA history last year and gave probably the most heartfelt MVP speech in American sports history. Who the fuck is worthy of our admiration in contrast? Please do tell.