“More fake news from Highlights for Kids: I colored in the lines the best and am not a Goofus.”

So...is it just my computer or does that gif really suck?

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

Watching that video makes the game look even more boring than playing it legitimately.

Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

Can we just play through this Presidency?

I hope McGregor reads this and someone gives Mayweather the gist of it.

Unfortunately, this will only be the second most devastating withdrawal from Paris today.

Can she go on tour and get left places? Each time to awake to a news crew and holding a Bud Lighr.

It’s not delivery, it’s depression.

I hate the fact that I have been reduced to appealing to the morality and conscience of Republican congressmen

If you rearrange the letters and leave out a lot of them and add an extra W, it says “I played for Washington in game two.”

That’s exactly what someone impersonating his twin brother on an NBA playoff team would say.

A hiker ascending a 10,000-footer hauling lasagna with meat sauce wasn’t particularly prepared for every eventuality, you say?

This is dumb because it does not even accurately reflect history. I do think it’s funny you might believe European men showed up on the shores of Africa, enslaving the natives by running them down and shackling them, though

To be fair, there’s a lot of unwarranted whiteness all around that stadium.

Oh sure everything looks bad if you remember it!

If they’re looking for an unoccupied space that’s hosted bowls, how about Mark Davis’ head?

Because when you want hard-hitting perspective about how the world really works, you go to a 24 year old blond who's putting together an audition reel for a sweet FoxNews gig.