That’s actually what I yell everytime I take a shit in the middle of a Best Buy.

I will never get tired of reading this.

ANOTHER fun fact!

Did you know that’s the first time an NBA team has blown a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals basketball game series?

I’m not sure if anyone heard about this other fun fact. But the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in last year’s NBA Finals. (The Finals is the championship series in professional basketball.)

Sorry, future man. None of that stuff you mentioned has happened yet in 2016.

You’re thinking of Kawhi Leonard dummy.

This dude PAID $150 to get to an open gym tryout on the off chance somebody of import would notice him 3 years ago because he had a kid to feed. I mean, wow.

Good to see that Tim Tebow isn’t the only one walking around with single A written all over him.

You better get unconfused before he gets mad.

Hair? He’s got him there, you have to admit.

I can’t think of a single thing Osweiler does better than Brian Hoyer other than being tall.

It’s clear that he’s better than the pile of crap the Texans fielded at QB last year

72 million.

Results may vary.

props on the most obscure WWII reference I’ve seen in a Deadspin comment section

The last Aryans to abruptly announce their retirement was Totenkopf at Kursk in 1943.

I’m offended you think I’m that old but also flattered you think I went to Princeton

I only clicked on the article to see if my old roommate was talking shit about me.

My college roommate kept mini kit-kats in the freezer instead of mini peanut butter cups. He was a monster.