I liked the first movie, but why don't they lay off the college drug users and find real criminals to arrest?

Pansy.

" I was a football player in high school and college, and I have the privilege of being a football coach as an adult."

And you wonder why you suffered through those weekly wedgies last year in junior high.

Ah, the old reliable "I know you are but what am I?" nerd defense.

You mean Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., who was arguably most widely known for his starring role as Inspector Lewis Erskine in the Quinn Martin television production, The F.B.I.?

"I've had my concussions…"

Blame it on the dumb writing. Like someone said earlier, "It's so hard for straight people in Hollywood because all those gay writers are pushing their agendas so hard right now!" Or something like that.

I'd like give Jane a facial. For science.

In your case, unlikely.

Even though it is highly unlikely, perhaps a day will come when another human being brings you to orgasm.

Oral sex is a capital offense in Alabama.

It all makes sense…if you're not a nerd.

Sure, they were hideous, but calling the Omega Mu's pigs is just mean.

Some rape jokes are funny. Nerds don't know funny.

Cassavetes finest film was the 1986 Sherilyn Fenn thriller, The Wraith!

Imagine my shock to learn a couple of weeks ago that JFK actually died from that gun shot wound 50 years ago in Dallas.

I would have watched last night if former American Idol great, Lee DeWyze, had played Captain Von Trapp, or even Rolf.

Blimey!

I served with Cheech Marin. I knew Cheech Marin. Cheech Marin was a friend of mine. Mister, you're no Cheech Marin.