Erika is America's version of Susan Boyle except that she is much better looking and won't sell any records.

Haley's father, Harry Reinhart, assures me that Haley only hangs with Casey for his scatting abilities and weed connections.

Old Tommy Hilfiger knows nothing about style (except his peading with Colton to shear that dog on top of his head) but he's a helluva saleman.  Need some elephant bell bottom jeans?

Mitt Romney was designed and assembled by the Coltron Corp.

By the way, I am a genetically engineered Austrian child so that song is special to me.

Does "Claire" know The Stone Pony?

I too thought, and dreamt that would be. I see the hoardes of Colton look-alikes make their annual trek from Indiana to the Taste of Chicago and it's a sight not for the weak of heart.

I rather watch the dick HeeJun take a piss at anyone on the show compared to the dick Phil Phillips piss on others because you know, it's about the music, man.  I desperately want to punch his face.

Elise is still disgusting but she sang well and her 2 students were cute as bugs ears.  I remember the song "Vienna" continually played on an old Taxi episode where Alex and Elaine travel through Europe together.

"I can’t wait to hear this in line at a Rite Aid, though I can’t promise I’ll recognize it"

And someone please convice Colton to lose that 2003 hillbilly haircut.

"Randy said he (Phil Phillips) was a “fish out of water” in the competition. NO HE IS NOT."

I saw part of this show and thought it was really funny.  I like that guy who plays a dwarf.

Who's not afraid of cooties?

No, I'm an adult heterosexual male and Elise and her diet of Cheetos, bourbon and Chesterfields is disgusting.  She hurts all my senses and has to go.

Erika's arms are bigger than Shannon's thighs.

Elise the Beast is gross.

Pia Toscano is the nicest restaurant in Lake Zurich, IL.  Try their bruschetta.

I'm confused, are they sluts or prostitutes? Usually women are one or the other…or neither which is always disappointing.

You can say that again.