After President Fuckhead sold out whatever vestiges of our fraught empire today, why not save a little dough and trundle out a perfectly acceptable alternative?

I was recently thinking it woudl be great if someone made small versions of these that people could hold on strings like regular balloons. Wouldn’t the sight of a cloud of helium filled little Trump Baby Balloons drifting over the White House as Trump speaks or over one of his golf courses as he plays golf be a sight…

I’m with the poster from the other day, get that wailing tub of lard, Blump not Cheetolini, in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade!

So do we need to start a GoFundMe to make sure one flies over every single Trump property ready to raise at the earliest inkling that he is heading there?  I would support this. There is nothing more satisfying then interrupting his golf game with a constant reminder that he is in fact a fat baby.

Stand by for a new 5000% blimp tariff.

Benefit of the doubt, he probably thought it would be more likely to keep anyone from discovering it was him. A digital disguise, if you will. Or maybe he had some other nefarious reason(s), who knows.

Personally the story that seems more interesting isn’t the leaking but more why this guy felt the need to use “gossipy women” as his online personas, because I’m guessing he won’t have a non-shitty one.

And getting into the house by coming up from the sewer!?! Oh, no no no!

Three most important pieces of advice I wish someone had told me before I had my first baby:

not at all, she’s just off this weekend! 

My daughter learned how to swim two weeks ago and took the training wheels off of her bike on Monday. Seeing her enjoy her first tastes of independence is amazing.

“““babysits””” his kids

I’m a 34 year old dude and I’m officially never watching the Notebook again. For some reason, I forget how sad it is every year, and say to myself...

That scene was absolutely absurd. Dude just saw her five minutes ago...

Literally just yesterday I was in a domestic violence training and they played that scene where they meet and dude dangles himself from a ferris wheel to coerce her to go out with him. 

I asked my mom who is a fan of the movie and she told me the appeal is that in her experience men are never constant in their affection. The Ryan Gosling character loved the female lead for years and years and that is hard to find. I have to clarify that my father was a serial philanderer. 

I bet he encountered kids selling lemonade and only kindly asked them to vacate the stand instead of immediately calling the police.

I laugh-cried.  Then cried-cried.

I bet Kavanaugh babysits his kids when asked (provided he doesn’t have anything else going on) and does* the laundry every Mother’s Day for his wife. This is what a real male feminist looks like, ladies. Lean in!

This door-opening cavalier has never donated a dollar to the homeless pets at Petco. Have a good day!