SMASHED PENIS IN BETWEEN TWO WHEELBARROWS

Yeah, like... are we just gonna pretend that Snoop Dogg doesn’t have stronger, better weed than the average joe? #factsoflife?

You know what, musicians do have different weed. And yes, Jennifer Lawrence can get any kind she wants, but one of the great things about weed is the community it brings together when a joint comes out at a party. I took one hit from a musician a couple of months ago and felt like I was on a rocket to the moon the…

Why does every outrageously over-expensive and over-engineered luxury food item just get laced or dusted or foiled with gold? Have some imagination for Bob’s sake. Palladium-infused sprinkles. Vanilla extract made with vanillin from the wood of the True Cross. Eggs poached in heavy water. Microgreens grown on the ISS…

Hi! Sorry your experience at Jezebel was less than perfect. We’re working on correcting the typo, and we’d like to invite you and your friends back, on the house. Thanks for bringing this to our attention!

This evening, my friends and I wanted to really experience the feminist side of the internet so we went to Jezebel. There aren’t enough words to describe how awful it was.

Fork me, great tweet. I just shirt my pants.

I thought maybe she is just trying to get out from under her sister’s shadow....

Jameela is correct, your liver is your detox.

Here for it.  Even before I knew there were drag queens involved.

I love that Dolly quote.

After dating a bunch of broke, nice but not hot dudes, I am willing to step up, take one for the team, and date Brad Pitt.

Who else thinks a “normal person” means a 22 year-old yoga instructor from a wealthy family with a lifestyle blog?

I am so excited for this as someone who both loooves romcoms and thinks they’re stupid. Tom and Lorenzo had some posts while they were filming and the costumes look amazing.

I can’t lie, I will watch the hell out of this.  

Did I see Jennifer Saunders in a movie as mother??? OMG yes for this only

I didn’t watch the video but more people need to be “difficult in the direction of” Andy Cohen.

If they can’t air the show after tragic acts of gun violence, when is there going to be a time when they can air it? Like, when is there a time when there has been no recent gun violence?

Club Girth has EVERYTHING.

Drake wanted to marry Rihanna at one point.