I still think our American asshole is more embarrassing.

There is literally nothing sad about this.

If I had to die, being blown to death would pretty much be at the top of my list.

First, some states have laws in place to actually protect the seller in the event that the person is taking unfair advantage of them. It’s just hard to prove.

Look, they said they had juiced balls. I went to talk to them, but we ended up talking about Russian orphans. That’s it. I swear.

mystified or bored or otherwise deterred by a simple screen

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

I still can’t get how he’s made it this far while shooting like a five year old.

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

How come women can’t go sleeveless when Paul Ryan is allowed to go spineless?

And the crowd goes mild.

Not if his opponent was Hillary. The Dems really need to find someone else.

What? Nobody on the internet made him climb into a circle and try to kill a fucking pissed off bull. If you want to grieve for his family, maybe he should have had them in mind when he decided try to slowly kill dangerous animals for a living. He died doing something dangerous and barbaric in a silly costume- that is…

citation needed

I heard Barron Trump calls Robert Mueller “Papa Bob.” People are saying this.

I was going to suggest white hippie mommy blogs.
I could totally see her being popular with anti-vaxers... which I guess is the same thing huh.

Shaun of the Dead, but mostly just here to say that sleek bob does wonders for her.

If only poor Theresa May had tweeted more...

This was great. You know why? Because, for all of 2 minutes, I wasn’t thinking about the next four years.