Oh man, I love the idea of brazenly saying, in my clearly American accent, “Oh, we don’t do that in my culture.”

I feel like that is their fucking problem.

Eh, my first time was fine. It wasn’t my best time, but it also wasn’t my worst time. I definitely enjoyed it and wanted to do more!

I spent a good couple of minutes wondering if I was misreading your posts and/or if you had gone insane before I realized it was a copy/troll.

I mean, definitely talk to her about it, but if you do get married in Vegas and then she regrets it, you could always do a vow renewal later. And also, if she wants a fancy wedding but you are anxious about it, you could do a small event, so that you have all the trappings of the wedding, but without you feeling like…

Well, the thing about this is that those choices do have to be made. Obviously you can just go to the courthouse, but assuming that you don’t do that and you want a wedding wedding, where you celebrate with loved ones...someone has to pay attention to all those details. And honestly, if one member of the couple…

I emailed all of my bridesmaids and told them they were welcome to decide what they wanted to do and let me know - they could choose a color scheme, or a similar style if they wanted, and then all get dresses they liked or use ones they already owned. Plus that way my color scheme would be chosen by them!

My groom cared about a lot of stuff, but for the stuff he didn’t care about...honestly, usually I didn’t either. Like, I did not give a shit about actually picking a photographer - I knew I wanted one who took good photos and was within our budget, but beyond that, I had zero opinion. So it would have been frustrating…

I mean...these two are not really comparable, because one involves buying a major purchase that both spouses will use, and the other involves deciding on a (relatively) minor purchase by other people. A better example would be to say, “The groom wants his groomsmen to wear X tux, but the bride said absolutely not,”…

Yup. Someone referred to my cousin as a Bridezilla because she wanted silver ink for the addresses on her invitations, and since the printer wouldn’t do that, she got a silver pen and did them herself (well, her and my grandmother). Just...what? That is the least bridezilla thing in the world. But, you know, there was…

Ah yes, I got this too, but from my brother. It is disrespectful, apparently, and shows that I don’t really love my husband, because I am all ready for the divorce.

I want to break the arm of that person holding their cell phone so far out that even the official vidoegrapher can’t get a clear shot of them walking down the aisle. Why do people do that? Your shitty cell phone camera is not going to get as good a shot as the official pictures that you know are being taken, so just…

Oh my god can I please try your lemond cake with lavender scented frosting? I am salivating right now.

That’s great! I mean, sucks that you had to do it, but way to stand by your convictions.

Yeah, I don’t think Obama is at all at fault here. But realistically, if Obama is “at” your wedding even in the sense that he is right outside, people are going to mostly be focused on that. It’s not Obama’s fault at all, but that doesn’t mean that it would be everyone’s preference for him to be “at” their wedding!

I thought she said that the bridesmaids hadn’t told her they wanted to use the makeup artist who was there, but did use her, which slowed everything down? I mean, either way, even if you do your own makeup, you should be ready in plenty of time.

Man, people are really aggravated that you wouldn’t want Obama at your wedding. It’s not like you’re saying he is a jerk, or that other people shouldn’t want him there.

Oh man, I am sorry. That really sucks. I’m especially sorry that people are probably being jerks about it and saying stuff like, “Well as long as you’re married, that’s all that is important,” because yes, obviously you are happy to be married to your husband, but that doesn’t change the fact that the day sucked - and…

I would, however, love it if drunk Liza Minnelli crashed my wedding. It just seems like a sedate appearance by the president would put a damper on the party aspect, whereas drunk Liza Minnelli would only enhance it.

I have a lot of other ideas, but I didn’t want to swamp the post.