Remember when Dolly Parton was on The Colbert Report, and Colbert lost his shit a little bit and got nervous and couldn’t be cool? I’m sure a lot of celebrities have at least one star by whom they are still starstruck.

Oh, Pinkham, never go to Versailles (ver-sayles) Kentucky. You will end up on a killing spree. Same goes for a lot of the streets in New Orleans, although I will admit to clenching my steering wheel a little tighter every time I drive down Helios (huh-loys).

I love that she claims that the goat “saved her life” when her leg was bleeding by alerting her mother. It says nowhere that she was passed out or otherwise incapacitated; just that her leg was bleeding from a staph infection, thus the goat had to break down the door to alert someone. Because saying, “Hey Mom, could…

The animal is likely damaged because she purchased it from a purveyor of exotic animals. It’s not like she found a kangaroo on the side of the road in Wisconsin; someone ripped a baby kangaroo away from its mother and transported it to the US so that she could pay thousands of dollars to have the exotic pet she wanted.

This is only fueling my paranoia! Fortunately I hardly ever go into brick and mortar shops anymore, so I should be OK.

I regularly hold my phone up to get good service, like maybe the incremental distance that my arm can get it closer TO SPACE is going to save the day. This is the closest I come to understanding what is going on with technology.

Haha, I am always weirdly ashamed when that happens to me! It’s not usually Old Navy for me (in large part bc I don’t live near one anymore), but I feel like everyone who works in the store is judging me for being a try-hard. Obviously they are not because no one gives a fuck what I’m wearing, but it still makes me…

THREE POUNDS? How would I even function in the world if I couldn’t lift more than 3 lbs? That is so few pounds! I have to carry shit that weighs over 3 lbs EVERY DAMN DAY. Obviously I can lift as much weight when I’m exercising as I can when I am doing basic tasks.

I mean...WORRYING is a bit extreme. Rolling my eyes for a minute whenever my notifications pops up, yes, but all-caps WORRYING is generally for more dire situations. I see, however, that we have descended to the incoherent, angry, name-calling portion of internet debates, so I will bow out.

I didn’t realize you replied here as well, or I would have just addressed this in my earlier response. I’m a little confused as to how we got two threads going.

But if a woman dare have an opinion based on deep moral convictions, she’s a princess. Women can’t win.

Strayed was so ill-equipped that her hiking shoes didn’t fit her and she had to do part of the hike in sandals. She lucked the hell out; she easily could have twisted or broken an ankle and been stranded. And sure, that can happen no matter how prepared you are, but the odds increase dramatically when you are so…

Uggggghhhh, I transferred my rent money to my housemate once (she had been a dear friend leading up to this), and she just...didn’t pay rent. She gave them my money but not hers; turned out she had blown all her money on flights to meet and marry the guy she’d been chatting online with for 6 weeks. Obviously I didn’t…

There are a bunch of great ideas in this article. I like the idea of doing something with the bouquet. I was particularly partial to the woman who said she’d handed it off to a close friend who was getting married soon after, and the friend used the ribbon and pins from it on her bouquet, then passed it off at her…

I wouldn’t even take it as that, personally. It’s pretty clear that the bride is tossing the bouquet directly at her; there isn’t even anyone else around. My guess is that the bride came over to the two of them privately and was like, “OK, Jamie, you ready?” and then her boyfriend swatted it away as a joke. I actually…

I don’t know what public restrooms they’re using, but I can’t imagine that anyone’s presence could make me feel more defiled and uncomfortable than the public restroom itself.

Oh my God, 85 is so unsettling. Gross, I do not want a virgin fetish combined with an amorphous, anthropomorphic ball of meat fetish in order to sell me chicken.

Ohhhh man, I love those. I’m having to mentally chant, “Don’t you dare change everything about your flowers so close to the wedding” right now.

OF COURSE rescuers rescue everybody. But there is a HUGE, GIANT difference between someone doing all they can to prepare and still making a mistake or ending up in a bad situation, and somebody arrogantly deciding that they are special and unique and don’t need to prepare for a dangerous situation, thus putting…

There are! There absolutely are! But so do, say, volunteer firefighters, and there is a big difference between firefighters putting their lives at risk because faulty wiring caused a fire, and firefighters putting their lives at risk because some idiot decided to play with matches after spilling a bunch of oil.