Imma drop a house on all those assholes and give Lizzo the shoes. The End.

The fact that he lawyered up instead of just apologizing really says a lot.

“Tommy is a loving husband and father.”

Additionally, in a statement to CBS News, Callaway’s lawyer stated that he, “did not act with any criminal intentions” and that “Tommy is a loving husband and father.” Of course, how much he loves his wife and children is irrelevant to Callaway’s inability to keep his hands to himself. And besides, Bozarjian isn’t…

he, “did not act with any criminal intentions”

I like this one better. Hope everyone’s finished eating.

This is both accurate and extremely depressing.  

He is a dopamine delivery system. It’s December, we all have seasonal depression, let us have our adorable baby alien without the attitude. We’ll dismantle capitalism when the sun comes out again.

Fondling a woman’s breasts when she is still alive doesn’t seem to be an offense that lands anyone in real trouble, so it’s difficult to believe there is any chance someone would prosecute this jerk for doing it to a dead person.

That’s... all of Star Wars, though? To the point where Mel Brooks made a parody in which “merchandise” is yelled a lot.

Abuse of a corpse. Hope they hit him with felony charges for this. 

Placed on leave? Fire this monster and arrest him.

George is just part of the distraction show. Move along. There’s nothing of value here other than misdirection.

“I don’t wanna hear that white people are the fucking plague all the time!”

Why is everything white?

Why are people from Michigan such reprehensible assholes?

Thank you. I do the same thing. I start hanging out with my co-worker from England, trust me, I have to stop myself from taking on her accent. Thank god I’m not famous, I would get so roasted.

Defense lawyers don't defend their client's actions, they defend their legal right to have their case examined and tried by a court of law. It is one of the foundations of democracy, everyone has the right to a fair trial

Suppose I am a police officer. Suppose I am standing in a hotel parking lot, accompanied with another police officer, and between us we are carrying tear gas spray, tasers, and handguns, at least two of each, not to mention two-way radios with which to call the local police, the state police, a SWAT team, and the…