Virginia was eating kids before it was cool.

Is...is that Kris Paronto character criticizing an unarmed student in non-combat situation for hiding during a mass shooting, and comparing him unfavorably to his actions as a soldier with a gun doing his job in a combat situation?

Everybody knows that is was because of Carvey Winecheese.

Asiago Sargento wants to know why she can’t get work in Hollywood.

Breillat is the Cool Girl of French cinema. I sincerely hope to see less of her type of male-gaze-friendly films from the next generation of women directors.

And he also wants McDougal to think she’s a whore. It’s classic douchebag behavior- pick a woman with clear self-esteem issues and then do things throughout the relationship to reinforce those issues.

It is literally just an expensive rock you stick in your vagina. It is supposed to “intensify feminine energy and invigorate your life force” through its mystical vagina-rock powers. Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot more likely to intensify your odds of getting a bad bacterial infection and invigorate the possibility of…

You people picking pets over antidepressants. Look I love my cats but I can’t function without my meds. I can function without my cats.

Me too. Me too. I will never vote against my cat.

See I love sanitation but I’d poop outside if it meant keeping my furbaby. I am that person.

I’m so traumatized by having to choose between pets and anti depressants. I chose pets, obviously, because you know there won’t be a steady and large enough supply of medication to make the apocalypse bearable. I’ll just do ritalin and hug my dog.

Honestly solitude during the apocalypse with my pets sounds better than anything. Also, anything sexual during the apocalypse seems like a nonstarter to me.

That’s fair, but shitting outside is truly, truly awful. At night? With little or no power? That’s how hookworm happens. That’s how cholera happens. Like, I’m absolutely not joking when I say that indoor plumbing is probably in the top three greatest health-related inventions humans ever came up with.

I do not know what a “postmate” is, but I definitely don’t need a vagina egg.

ALSO fuck tinder

I am so sad that I missed yesterday’s poll. It looks like there were some interesting ones.

I think indoor plumbing might be the dark horse to bet on. I’d take it over birth control or dramatic sex, tbh.

Wait people are choosing bees over an ocean with fish in it? You guys know bees aren’t the only pollinators, right?

Alexa. Where is the closest place I can take a shit?