If they get rid of the spicy potato soft taco, my wife might just lose all hope in humanity.

As I’ve read a few of these about Ellen, I keep thinking about her appearance on the Conan podcast. She, for me, is still probably the worst guest they ever had and through the whole interview felt like she had this wall around her even there and came across really weird. That isn’t to say it automatically meant that…

I think they didn’t test.

My mind immediately thought of someone else who hates cans..

“C...O...G...and we love spelling, don’t we folks? The vowels and the continents and the big, big words. And I know words, probably better than dictionaries. In fact, I had a dictionary doctor tell me once that they thought I should’ve become a dictionary since I knew such good word spelling. And I had a word come up…

Hand out my hair salon business cards to protesters.

And another May tweet from Adams read: “Don’t shut down the universities. Shut down the non essential majors. Like Women’s Studies.”

Did you see the recent clip of him where he interviewed his father and, at the end, Trump fucking nonchalantly asks the crew if they can reshoot the questions his son asked him(implying his son did a shit job of delivering the questions) without him being there. Poor Jr. had this frozen face that almost made me feel…

The only thing he is killing is a whole hoagie 

I mean - I can’t eat anything with a bone in it --- but that’s why i don’t order ribs 

We, of South Carolina, hope soon to great you in a Southern Confederacy, where white men shall rule our destinies, and from which we may transmit to our posterity the rights, privileges and honor left us by our ancestors.

In that he was crying all the time, never caught a rabbit, and ain’t no friend of mine.

I sent my renewal in February and am still waiting. 6-8 weeks became 16.

Continuing to defend and use these third party apps doesn’t make you part of the problem. It makes you THE problem.

I've yet to use one of these apps because of the ridiculous commissions they charge. Better to call the restaurant directly and pick up myself. 

Fake new! This photo was created in a Chinese lab! When set as a background, it enables Chinese spyware that sends all your data to Secret Chinese data farms and locks itself to hide the evidence! The only way to unlock it is to vote for Biden so he can replace all the police with Gay Enforcer Squads that turn your…

My photographer for this, Joy Asico, (who took the banner photo for this story) would like me to let everyone know that while I ate 62 bowls she ate 63 bowls. And as the person who wrote this story, I will also share that she did it just to spite me. I apologize this crucial detail didn’t make its way into the…