Any time Bardot makes the news, I'm like, "She's not dead?!"

All my emojis are yellow.

It seems like a few years ago, they were selling cute/fun underwear. Then they went on a spree of selling generic sexy underwear (flogged by supermodels) that perhaps alienated their target audience. Now that they seem to be veering back toward cute/fun, I might go back to keeping a stockade of their underwear in my…

Not like symbiosis because one party is dead.

Batten down your cats. The Internet is about to explode.

That's not enough to party me with my 90s nostalgia, though, especially as this lunchbox is serving an important function by housing all my Hello Kitty stickers.

Sandwich Week(s) is truly the most wonderful time of the year. (Plural because it happens again after xmas.)

The day after Thanksgiving? No way. That's Turkey Hangover Day. Two days after is proper.

Me, too. I have my kids convinced that Xmas happens on the 28th of of December, don't even start my Xmas shopping until the 26th.

Oooh! Wait, no. Just looked it up. Looks like I'd only get £22.50 for it.

Are there really people out there who are like fans of Iggy Azalea? And like they admit this openly?

I still have some of their dresses from the 90s in my wardrobe. I also still have a pink lunchbox that I used as a purse on my bookshelf. Regressive?

They could seriously just remake things from their 90s catalogs and sell them. First there's the nostalgia market (I'd totally buy that purple frilly shirt dress right now if I could). Second, the young things are all trying to dress 90s now because it's vintage.

Will the groom's family check the sheets for blood stains the day after the wedding so they know they got their money's worth?

Part of me (the part that's fascinated by the lurid) wanted to see their slobbery, awkward virgin kiss so I could laugh.

DJ Cluck Cluck Finger-Lickin' Chicken.

Bird flu.

He actually won't have any contact with hotel staff while there. He's going full quarantine, bringing his food with him and not leaving the room until the period is up. In fairness, he's been in some of the worst-hit ebola spots in the world, so it's natural that he doesn't want to take any chances.

Yes. Like these sweepstakes enthusiasts, I have had some luck. I have published a few things and won a few things.

This is kind of my life lately, but instead of sweeps, it's sending short stories to literary magazines.