A lot of running and jumping, but no touchdowns? Looks about right.

The Packers—the Packers!—still have 7,500 seats remaining

"National accreditation" is essentially not accreditation (though neither of the schools featured in this piece are accredited in any way, even nationally). Calling national accreditation "accreditation" is like calling the rhythm method "birth control."

Oh goddammit, yes, we know about the taxes. Can't we be happy for her, just for

Based on their experience and skill at moving a bunch of armless men around the field, the winners will be offered jobs as wide receiver coaches for the Bills.

GUYS AND DOLLLSSS WE'RE JUST A BUNCHA CRAZY GUYS AND DOLLSS

Re: Wilson and McCarthy-Can they vow to make funny tv shows next?

Robbed.

You keep your filthy hands off of Bear Friday. This is a place of joy.... unless you are a monkey on a bicycle, in which case it is a never-ending nightmare.

The cubs are so inept, they couldn't even win at this, could they?

I would have voted for this one.

between China choking itself to death, India with their rape buses, Russia with their pickled livers, Canada with their niceness, and the rest of the developing world with their general savagery wrought through crushing poverty, I don't worry about America's place on top of the heap (besides, we'd crush them with our…

Call us when lots of people died.

I feel weird because so far as I can tell none of these were mentioned thus far:

"Here's a kitten! It is small! It is adorable! It iiiiiis … wait, check that, it's a dog."

True Schiano Power Move. Anybody, anytime, anywhere !

Big deal—I bet that bear doesn't even play tetherball.

Mushnick's thing is so predictable in its hate. Whicker's column was so surprising AND appalling. Mushnick merely hit an infield single in comparison.