they are a blast to catch. fuck up my spinner baits though

That fish is a Bowfin. Those things are nasty, tough fish, and can hang out without being in water for quite awhile. I'm quite sure the fish wasn't dying. It was waiting for its moment. I've had some unpleasant experiences with its kind before.

In retrospect, football was sort of a thing he fell ass-backwards into for a while despite being an irredeemable turd. The most interesting aspect of this case isn’t that a football player was just convicted of murder, but that a murderer actually managed to have a short pro football career.

Dear tips@deadspin.com. Please turn this into words on a page so that I can consume it. Sincerely, 85% of your readers.

A skill no doubt learned from years of putting up with the diva antics of Mango.

Wait why did you pay him for being an asshole? Very confused here.

Years ago when we lived in San Diego, my wife was in the market for a Mazda 626. It was a car she always wanted but didn't want to buy new, so we went to a dealership on Miramar Road as they had a relatively newer used model she wanted.

Ok, the last story is funny as hell. "Goodwill".....I'm fucking dying over here!

Sometimes it seems that articles (which are a couple of paragraphs, not 10 pages) don’t even get a quick read over before being published though. Doesn’t that take all of 30 seconds? It seems like even without an editor you should read what you've written before publishing it.

Shit, you're right, that guy's gonna be an ambassador.

How does someone wipe sitting down?! How??? Your hand would get sat on, AND touch the toilet seat! No thanks.

Oh great, now I have to go adjusting the water level in every toilet I shit in. Also, my huge dick routinely gets in the way, can't fix that!.

Did you major in burying the lede?

Don't be disgusting, you stand to wipe. Otherwise there is a very good chance of your hand touching the shit. That is nasty, that is all.

loaves of bread for pillows and flour tortillas for blankets

Plus you can shove the tortillas up your ass.

Hey, what happened to all the fans that had no problem with the Cubs tearing up their park to squeeze a few more bucks out of the operation? Where are they to defend this mess?

It’s the only time all season the Cubs will be anywhere near number 1.

these pics are sweet, like something you'd see in a textbook in 40 years [just like how there's pics of james braddock fights or old yankee games]. I'm very high right now

"I still think he's a good person,"